Offensive War

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

Arkard pulls the wig off of him and douses Sonoko's car in gasoline. He then lights the wig on fire and throws it at the car. Arkard sits back and laughs manically as the car burns.

[Sonoko]

Donald Trump catches his borrowed wig before it reaches Sonoko's car and says to Arkard, "You’re fired!"  Unflattering pictures of Arkard appear in the tabloids as Trump’s latest victim. 

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

One of the nearby dogs runs up and grabs Donald Trump's flaming wig out of his hand, mistaking it for a chew toy. Happily running off with his newfound toy, the dog accidentally gets too close to Sonoko's car and lights it on fire with the wig.

Arkard sues Donald Trump for defamation, and buys all of Donald's companies with the lawsuit money. He then hires a team of professional mimes and has them pantomime an invisible wall around Sonoko and the dog with the flaming Trump wig, trapping them in the space.

[Sonoko]

Sonoko ignores the invisible wall and drives her car to an undisclosed location before the fiery wig reaches it.  Returning to Arkard’s location, she enrolls him in a kindergarten class where the mean five year olds wipe boogers on Arkard at recess.

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

Arkard befriends the kindergarten kids and teaches them how to fire spitwads. They all lie in wait outside of Sonoko's house. They bury her under a mound of spitwads when she shows up.

[Sonoko]

Sonoko emerges from the spit-wad mound and takes a shower at a friend’s house.  She contacts the principal reporting the incident.  Arkard and his kindergarten buddies are punished by ‘staying in class during recess with their heads on the desk’ and ‘waiting in class after school until your mom comes to get you’.  Sonoko poses as Arkard’s mom and picks him up after school.  She puts him on the playground merry-go-round and pushes it so hard Arkard flies off, landing in the high school stadium.  The high school football players trample Arkard during their third round of practice.   

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

Arkard proves his toughness by tackling the entire football team. They respect him because of that, and they are willing to listen to him. Arkard convinces them to practice in Sonoko's front yard. Arkard, playing the position of quarterback, "accidentally" tosses the football at Sonoko as she walks out the front door. The overeager football team tackles Sonoko.

[Sonoko]

Sonoko walks out her front door dressed as a cute high school girl wearing faded hip hugger jeans, a tight t-shirt (that says “I ♥ boys”), gold-beaded flip flops and sunglasses.  She catches the football and pulls a hair stick from her hair.  She walks up to Arkard and stabs him with the hair stick, which is really a secret Ninja weapon in disguise.  Blood drips to the ground, pooling around Arkard's feet.  Feeling usually evil, Sonoko twirls the bloody Arkard around and stabs him in the back just for fun. 

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

Arkard dies.

[Quixjote]

Somewhere a bunny wakes up from a nightmare of people killing people... only to think, "Food".  Upon going out to the garden, fails to see Mr McGregor's cat and is promptly caught and brought to Mrs. McGregor to be put in a pie.  The bunny dies.