WAR!!!!!

[pvande]

The midget calmly explains to the zombies (quite eloquently, and in their native tongue) that his intent was not offense but flattery, and that imitation is commonly viewed as the highest form thereof.  As a form of apology, he offers to entertain them with a juggling routine (making use of the few still-intact rice balls).

His impromptu shtick finished, he regards the rack-laden zombie with his most sincere gratitude for the offered change of clothing, but they are ultimately unable to find anything in his size.  Again he voices his regrets, and moseys down to the waterfront to bathe away the vomit.

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

The zombies, having no native language except for moans and groans, misinterpret the stranger's actions as further mockery. Five more join the group that is trying to eat him. The zombie outfitter, undeterred by the inability to find a shirt in the man's size, continues to try and find a shirt in his size.

[pvande]

Watching the zombies slow, trudging approach, the tiny annoyance moves further away from the shoreline (since it's a well-known fact that zombies will drown in the pursuit of their prey, being both stupid and mostly sponge-like in their dessication).  Matsumoto, who has been carefully watching this situation, notices tear tracks running down the small man's cheeks, as the zombies shuffle towards their more-than-a-little-timely, bloated demise.

[Something had better distract them, or we're going to have a fairly upset dwarf out here...]

[Sonoko]

Matsumoto steals a few shirts to dress the monkey in and accidentally knocks over the entire rack on the George Wallace zombie.  He ties the dwarf's hair into a top knot in hopes the crying will stop.

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

The George Wallace zombie moans some racial slur about the samurai's ancestry (for some reason, he retains the ability so speak coherently only when being racist).

The group of zombies following the dwarf are undeterred in their advance, and continue to close in on the dwarf.

[Sonoko]

The racial slur causes Matsumoto to lose his temper.  He mumbles something about those Confederate bigots from Alabama and raises his katana to slice heads in one swift blow.

[pvande]

The petite man, genuinely concerned for the zombies collective safety, races forward into the fray, inadvertedly splashing water in Matsumoto's face, and causing him to drop his weapon into the water.

[Sonoko]

Matsumoto picks up his sword.  He asks the dwarf, "Why do you like zombies?  Do you want to be one of the undead?"

[pvande]

Weaving deftly through the zombies, repeatedly and consistently evading their grasp, the homonculus shouts back to Matsumoto:


"The dead, undead, and dead again,
from each to each we travel,
but I care not for journey's end
which is arrived through battle."


Dancing off a few paces up the shore, he stands off from the zombie mob.  Each of the ten aggressors find themselves struggling to follow, as each leg has been tied to the leg of another.

Offering Matsumoto, the zombie fashionista and the pirate monkey a deep bow, he continues up the beach at a leisurely saunter.

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

The zombies pull against each other so hard that they each lose a leg. They proceed to hop after the dwarf.

[Dusty Star]

The monkey, feeling overwhelmed by the recent events, steels himself from the grief of the little person and acts. He pulls the hood of his black suite over his head, displaying plastic filled holes for optimum visibility and an advanced breathing apparatus. His hand reaches in the bag on his back and pulls what looks like a remote. He quickly types in a code and whips out a grenade, pulls the pin and throws it into the Zombie conglomerate. Then disappears into the water......

[Sonoko]

Maintaining a safe distance from the grenade, Matsumoto watches as hundreds of decayed body parts fall to the beach.  He enters a nearby telephone booth and changes into Matsumoto the Shadow Warrior.

[Arkard the Mad Science Experiment!]

The zombies make no attempt to avoid the grenade, as they are too busy dancing and trying to catch the dwarf. One of the zombies accidentally catches the grenade in his mouth and swallows it, and it explodes in his stomach. Everyone within a 150-foot radius is sprayed with zombie guts.

[Sonoko]

Fortunately, Matsumoto was in the phone booth while everyone else was sprayed with zombie guts. 

[pvande]

The miniature man, far enough in the distance to remain untainted by the gory spray, stopped walking as the sounds of the now-destroyed homo mortuus fell in pieces to the ground.

He stood for a moment, as if deep in contemplation, before unceremoniously planting his face firmly into the sandy beach.